


life is an enchantment

by gentle_autumn_rain



Category: Merlin (TV)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Canon Era, F/F, Fluff, Getting Together, M/M, Oblivious, Season/Series 02
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-10-23
Updated: 2019-10-23
Packaged: 2020-12-28 03:35:38
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,416
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21130106
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/gentle_autumn_rain/pseuds/gentle_autumn_rain
Summary: At first Morgana thought she was coming down with something.





	life is an enchantment

At first Morgana thought that she was coming down with something. 

She was constantly overheated. She felt lightheaded and dizzy. On the worst of the occasions, she even felt like she was losing her breath; it was so noticeable that Gwen, who had arrived to Morgana’s chambers in a sky blue dress and a sprig of forget me nots tucked behind her ear, had immediately pressed her soft hand against Morgana’s forehead. 

“My lady, you look flushed,” she said, looking concerned. 

For some reason, Morgana’s heart rate had picked up the moment Gwen had touched her. She pulled away, feeling confused. 

“It’s nothing, Gwen. I didn’t sleep well last night. I had a bad dream.” Morgana tried to smile up at her.

“Oh Morgana, I’m so sorry. I thought the dreams had stopped.” Looking upset, Gwen wrapped her arms around Morgana, pulling her into a warm hug. Morgana’s arms automatically rose to hug her back, and she breathed in Gwen’s clean, lavender scent, feeling herself relax and the strange dizziness recede.

“They have,” she said reassuringly. “This was just a bad dream of the non-prophetic variety.”

“But you’ll let me know if it starts getting bad again?” Gwen asked as she pulled back, brow furrowed. 

“Of course.” Morgana tucked a strand of Gwen’s hair behind her ear, meaning to soothe her, but it only seemed to make Gwen flustered.

As Gwen moved away to start making Morgana’s bed, Morgana resolved to get to the bottom of her strange symptoms. After all, she didn’t want Gwen to worry. 

Naturally, the first person Morgana sought out was Gaius. She trekked up the winding staircase to his laboratory, rehearsing her list of symptoms in her head_. Elevated heart rate. Overheated. Feelings of dizziness. Strange sensation in stomach_. 

She had tried to determine the circumstances in which these symptoms occurred, but there seemed to be no rhyme or reason to them – once she had been eating dinner with Uther and Arthur, and she felt an uncomfortable clench in her stomach as Gwen had leaned over to take her plate; another time, in a rare shared afternoon, she and Arthur had gone riding, Gwen and Merlin trailing behind them, Gwen giggling at something Merlin had said; last night, as she was falling asleep and Gwen was whispering goodnight. 

Morgana could find no pattern to these events, and she was hoping that Gaius’s expertise would shed some light on her issue. Unfortunately, as she lightly tapped on the door and pushed it open, Gaius was nowhere to be seen. Instead, Merlin was sitting in the corner by the window, a book propped up on his lap. It seemed that he had abandoned reading for the moment, however, as he was clearly distracted by something out the window.

“Hello, Merlin,” Morgana said. Merlin jumped, turning towards her. 

“Morgana!” The small smile that had been playing over his lips widened into something brighter. “What are you doing up here?”

“I was hoping to talk to Gaius about something. I fear that I am coming down with some sort of illness – I’ve been experiencing the strangest symptoms.”

Merlin looked concerned. “Gaius is out treating some townspeople right now, so he won’t be back until after dark.”

A surge of disappointment welled up in her. She would have to endure another day of this. 

“Oh. Well, I suppose I’ll just return tomorrow.”

“You know, I’ve been training under Gaius to become a physician. I’m not as experienced as him, obviously, but I may be able to help.” Merlin shrugged. 

Morgana hesitated before deciding that Merlin would not go gossiping about her illness to half the castle – well, except for Arthur, but that was to be expected.

“I’ve just been feeling very strange lately…” She described her symptoms over the past couple weeks to Merlin, who strangely started grinning as Morgana spoke.

“Hm, well none of that is really specific to any disease, so it could be a lot of things,” Merlin hedged. “When do you notice these symptoms?”

Morgana blew out a breath. “It seems to be entirely random. I felt it when we went riding the other day, at dinner last night in my chambers, even this morning when Gwen came in. It’s so odd, it doesn’t matter what I’m doing – it will happen whenever.”

Merlin’s eyes were filled with amusement, and his dimples were showing in his cheeks. “So, you really don’t see any connection between those situations?”

Morgana narrowed her eyes at him. “No – do you?”

“Well, they all do seem to involve Gwen…” He trailed off suggestively.

“Are you implying that this is Gwen’s fault somehow?” she demanded, outraged. 

“No, no, no, not at all!” Merlin hurried to say. “I just think that there might be something you’re missing. But physically, I think you’re fine, Morgana. It doesn’t sound like anything serious.”

Her relief was compounded by her confusion. Merlin must have seen something in her face, because he continued sympathetically, “I really don’t think it’s something to worry about, Morgana. Just – think about what may be causing these symptoms. I’m sure you can figure it out.”

Morgana forced a smile and thanked him for his help. Before she had even turned away, Merlin’s gaze slid back out the window again. Curious as to what had captured his attention so intensely, Morgana craned her neck to look out the window, but didn’t see anything terribly exciting. All she saw was Arthur in the practice field, doing his stupid little sword flip and preparing to spar with another knight.

Disheartened by the lack of answers, Morgana headed back to her chambers. She was greeted by an unusually large spread of Morgana’s favorite foods and Gwen standing behind one of the chairs, fingers twisting in her skirt. She smiled nervously as Morgana paused in the doorway. 

“I just thought that – well, you’ve looked so stressed and tired lately, you might need something to cheer you up. Not that you look bad or anything! Just worried. And that’s completely fine, obviously, you can feel however you need to feel, I just don’t want you to feel like you can’t talk to me about it. Not that you _ have _ to talk to me –”

“Gwen.” Morgana interrupted her maidservant’s rambling. “I love it, thank you. It’s just what I needed.”

Morgana stepped up to her and covered Gwen’s restless fingers with her hands. Gwen looked down shyly, biting her lip. 

“I have been feeling out of sorts lately, it’s true, but it’s nothing you need to concern yourself with. I promise you, I just need to manage it on my own.” Morgana ducked her head so she could meet Gwen’s warm brown eyes. “But truly Gwen, thank you.”

Gwen gave her a sweet smile and Morgana’s heart stuttered in her chest. To distract herself from the odd feeling, she said briskly, “Now, I’m sure you worked yourself to the bone preparing this, so let’s eat.”

Forestalling Gwen’s protests that she couldn’t possibly join her, Morgana pulled out a chair and pushed Gwen into it, seating herself at the head of the table next to her. Morgana began to eat in earnest – she hadn’t realized how hungry she had been – and after a few pointed nudges at the plates of food, Gwen gave in and picked at the spread as well. 

“So,” Morgana said. “Tell me how your blacksmithing is going.”

Gwen brightened, putting down her chunk of bread so she could gesture with her hands.

“I’m getting much better at working with iron. Still not as impressive as Father, obviously, but I’ve figured out how best to cool it, and the weapons I’ve made aren’t nearly as misshapen anymore.”

Morgana let out a laugh, remembering the first few attempts Gwen had showed her. She had politely admired the warped lumps of metal, but her mirth had become too much to contain when Gwen had looked at her despairingly and said, “They’re utterly terrible, aren’t they?”

“I’m sure they’re much improved,” she said warmly. 

“Thank you, my lady. Speaking of which…” Gwen reached into the pocket of her apron and pulled out a package wrapped in cloth. She handed it to Morgana, who blinked at her in surprise. 

Morgana carefully unwrapped the package and froze. Nestled in the cloth was a gleaming dagger, sharpened to perfection. Although it was rather rudimentarily crafted, it was beautiful – the hilt was shaped as a coiled snake, and the blade was long and elegant. A warm feeling spread through her chest.

Misinterpreting Morgana’s expression, Gwen hurried to say, “You don’t have to accept it, of course, I know you have loads of much more impressive –”

“Gwen.” Morgana stopped her with a hand on her arm, a smile breaking over her face. “It’s beautiful. I will treasure it forever.”

Gwen blushed furiously, but met Morgana eyes and the two of them gazed at each other for a moment. Morgana was beginning to feel that odd sensation again – butterflies had erupted in her stomach, and she could feel her heart beating faster as they continued to stare at each other. 

“Wine,” Gwen said suddenly, shattering the moment. “You must be thirsty – I’ll pour you a cup.”

Morgana moved her hand away, feeling oddly disappointed. “That would be lovely, Gwen, thank you.”

Hoping to move past her dismay, she decided to bring up one of Camelot’s favorite topics to gossip about. She herself was bored of it by this point, but it was the most interesting thing at court to discuss since Lord Durwin had gotten syphilis from a visiting noblewoman. “So, Merlin was awfully distracted by something very interesting when I visited him today…”

She trailed off unexpectedly as Gwen leaned over her to grab the pitcher of wine, her chest right in front of Morgana’s face. Her dress was rather low-cut today. 

“Yes, Morgana?” Gwen prompted after a moment of silence. She leaned back and started to pour the wine into Morgana’s goblet.

Morgana jerked back, feeling her face heat. “Ah, sorry – um, yes, Merlin seemed to be very interested in Arthur’s sword fighting practice today. I caught him looking out the window practically spellbound.”

Gwen giggled as she sat back down. “Yes, I’ve noticed he’s been particularly distracted of late. Did you see when we went riding the other day when Arthur took his shirt off? Merlin almost ran into a tree.”

Morgana grinned at the memory. “Arthur’s hardly any better. He gets the most unbearably smug expression whenever he manages to make Merlin laugh. And don’t get me started on the sickening looks.” She rolled her eyes. “The way he looks at Merlin when he’s not paying attention makes me want to vomit.”

She looked over at Gwen and whatever else was going to come out of her mouth stopped in her throat; she was caught off guard by the wistful look on Gwen’s face. Morgana felt her stomach drop as she remembered that it was not too long ago that Gwen had been the person Arthur was looking at with that devoted expression.

“Sorry,” Morgana said abruptly, trying to recover. “I know you have feelings for him.”

Gwen tilted her head in surprise, though she didn’t refute it. 

Morgana felt sick. She pressed her hand against her heart, trying to quell the painful feeling in her chest. The silence between them felt suffocating to her, although Gwen merely looked thoughtful. 

“I think that I did love Arthur,” Gwen finally said after an eternal pause. “Or I thought that I did. He just seemed safer than… but I don’t think I’ve felt that way for a long time.” 

The queasy feeling dissipated and Morgana could breathe again. She nodded in understanding, while her heart soared inside of her. 

“Of course, of course,” she said, brushing imaginary lint off her dress so she didn’t have to meet Gwen’s gaze. “You’re far too good for that idiot. Merlin is too, for that matter.”

Gwen gave her a mischievous grin. “Oh, but didn’t you hear…”

The subject was quickly changed, and they were drawn off into a long conversation that caused Gwen to lose track of time and jump up fretfully, saying “Oh dear, I told Gaius I would help him with something. I will see you later, my lady.” She gave a quick curtesy and rushed out of the room. 

Later that night, after Gwen had left and the room was quiet and dark, Morgana stared up at the ceiling. She was thinking about her odd reaction to her and Gwen’s conversation about Arthur. She was trying to pinpoint what that horrible feeling had been when it suddenly hit her – she had been _ jealous _. 

The thought caused her eyes to shoot open, and she even jerked up into a sitting position. Perhaps she just hadn’t wanted to share Arthur’s attentions with Gwen, she tried to reason with herself. After all, he was like a brother to her, and she didn’t think it was all that uncommon for siblings to have some possessive feelings over each other. Yet she felt none of those same feelings of jealousy towards Merlin, and the whole court knew where those two were headed. So that left her feeling jealous of Gwen’s attentions.

It could be that Gwen was her closest friend and most trusted confidant and Morgana feared losing that, but if she was being entirely honest with herself, she knew it was something else. Something that even her thoughts shied away from stating explicitly. No, she thought, full of dread, she knew exactly where her jealousy was directed. 

But how could she feel away about that Gwen? Morgana had long resigned herself to becoming an old maid; she had never found any of the noblemen at all interesting, and she knew that _ they _ would not be content with a wife who was both beautiful _ and _ opinionated. Morgana had become quite pleased with the thought of never marrying. After all, she would always have Gwen, and she thought that she would be quite happy growing old with only Gwen to keep her company. As her servant, of course.

But romantic feelings complicated this picture. Even putting aside the challenges that their differences in station caused, there was still the issue of Morgana not deserving Gwen. Sweet, kind Gwen, who always strove to make others happy and sometimes brought Morgana bouquets of wildflowers and had the most enchanting smile – 

_ Enchantment. _That must be it! Someone had put Morgana under a spell to lo– well, have feelings for Gwen. That explained everything, including the peculiar symptoms she had been experiencing over the past few weeks. All she had to do was see Gaius and get to the bottom of this, and everything would return back to normal. Satisfied with this conclusion, Morgana collapsed back onto the bed and quickly fell asleep. 

Despite how easily she had fallen asleep, Morgana slept restlessly, her dreams plagued by visions of Gwen. She woke up before the sun had fully risen and briskly dressed herself. She decided to immediately head to Gaius’s chambers; she was eager to resolve this issue and put it behind her. 

Gaius looked like he had been up for hours when Morgana came into his rooms, and he was puttering away at a variety of vials and tubes. 

“Good morning, Morgana,” he greeted her, looking unsurprised to see her up so early. “Having trouble sleeping?”

“No, I actually had a question about something else.” She stalled, fiddling with a bottle on one of the tables, before mustering up the courage to speak. “What do you know about love spells?”

“Love spells?” Morgana nodded. “Well, my lady, there is no such thing as a true love spell. These enchantments evoke a strong infatuation, nothing more, although the effects of such a spell can bring about quite a dramatic change in its victims. The so-called love they elicit is usually overwhelming and sudden.”

Morgana tugged at a strand of her hair, a nervous habit she had forced herself to grow out of years ago when Arthur had teased her mercilessly for it. “But what about a spell with more… gradual effects? Like one that takes, oh I don’t know, a couple weeks to take full effect?”

Looking slightly perplexed by her questioning, Gaius raises an eyebrow. “I admit that I have not heard of any love spell like that. Love spells usually have a very quick onset and the change is incredibly drastic.”  
“I see.” Morgana felt faint. 

“But why are you asking about this, my lady?”

“Oh, I just was curious. I was merely thinking about the situation with Uther and the troll,” she lied. 

“Ah.” Gaius did not look entirely convinced. “Best not to reflect too much on that.” There was a pause as the two of them remembered the smell, and they grimaced simultaneously.

“Yes, of course. Thank you, Gaius.” She fled the room before he could ask any more questions.

Morgana had to pause at the base of the tower, resting with her back against the wall. So she wasn’t enchanted after all. She – _ loved _ Gwen. She was in love with Gwen. She, Morgana, loved her servant Gwen. She was _ in love _ with _ Gwen! _

Admitting it to herself brought some relief, but Morgana was rather embarrassed that it had taken her this long to realize the truth of her feelings. She had always prided herself on her accurate intuition and sharp eye, but clearly she was more obtuse than she had ever given herself credit for.

However, Morgana did know someone even more obtuse than her, and she immediately pushed herself off the wall to head towards Arthur’s chambers. While he wasn’t her first choice for advice, she was becoming desperate, and it was plain that Arthur was doing _ something _ right, considering Merlin just about fell all over himself every time he walked into a room.

Still, Morgana gave herself a moment to feel truly ashamed before she knocked on Arthur’s door. This was going to be humiliating.

She knocked three times and waited; she could hear movement inside, but no one came to answer. Morgana knocked again more forcefully. There was a sudden silence in the room.

After a moment, Arthur’s annoyed voice called out. “Yes?”

“Arthur, it’s Morgana. I need to speak to you.” More shuffling, footsteps, then the door to Arthur’s chambers swung open, revealing Merlin, who looked flushed and disheveled. There was the shadow of a bruise under his jaw. Arthur appeared at his shoulder, looking irritated. 

“Am I interrupting something?” Morgana asked, amused. Neither of them were fully dressed. 

“No!” Merlin said at the same time Arthur emphatically said, “_Yes _.”

Merlin shot a glare over his shoulder at Arthur, and unsubtly dug his elbow into Arthur’s gut.

“Come on in, my lady,” Merlin said over Arthur’s _ oof _. “I can give you two some time to talk.”

“You might as well stay.” Morgana sighed. Arthur might be slightly more helpful if Merlin was there to keep him in line.

She swept past them into the room, eyeing the sheets in disarray on the bed. Arthur ignored her raised eyebrow and stomped to the bed, sitting down with a huff. 

“Well?” he said.

Merlin, who seemed to have some idea of what Morgana was here for, sighed in annoyance at Arthur. He drew out a chair for her and sat down next to Arthur.

“How can we help you, Morgana?”

She looked at the two of them, measuring her words. They looked so comfortable together, sitting with their legs pressed up against each other, and Morgana felt a surge of longing. She clutched her hands in her skirts.

“I think,” she said slowly. “That I’m in love with Gwen.”

“Oh, Morgana,” Merlin said softly, seeming not at all surprised. 

Arthur looked gobsmacked. “You’re _ what? _” 

Merlin fluttered his hand in front of Arthur’s face to shush him, leaning forward towards Morgana. “So you figured it out then.”

“Figured what out?” Arthur demanded. Morgana ignored him. 

“Yes, well,” she sniffed. “Clearly there was nothing physically wrong with me. And Gaius seemed to think love spells don’t quite work like that so…”

Merlin smothered a grin with his hand. He was practically vibrating with excitement.

“Morgana, that’s wonderful!”

“Is it?” she asked, feeling overwhelmed by his enthusiasm. 

“Of course it is!” Merlin said eagerly, throwing up his hands. Morgana felt a headache brewing behind her forehead. “So what are you going to do? You're going to tell her, right? Oh, Morgana, you should get her flowers, she would love that, and maybe you could put up candles in the room —“

“Merlin.” This time it was Arthur who was looking at Morgana thoughtfully, apparently over his surprise. “Let’s not get ahead of ourselves. I’m not sure Morgana even wants to tell her.”

“What?” Merlin turned big, pleading eyes on Morgana. “But Morgana, you must!”

His certainty rankled her. This had been a bad idea. “I don’t _ have _to do anything,” Morgana snapped. “I don’t even know why I’m here.” She stood up to storm out of the room, but Arthur reached out a hand and tugged her back into her seat. 

“For God’s sake, don’t be so dramatic, Morgana,” he said. “We’re only trying to help.”

She looked away from him. There was an awkward silence.

“If it helps,” Merlin said tentatively, “I don’t think you have anything to worry about. I’m pretty sure Gwen’s been mad about you for years.”

Morgana felt a flush rise up her neck, her insides singing. She had hoped, but…

“Listen here,” Arthur said in his I’m-the-crown-prince-and-you-have-to-do-what-I-say voice. “You love her, she loves you, it’s all very simple. Just confess and you two can be on your merry way.”

Morgana’s hands clung even tighter to her skirts. She couldn’t do this. It was too much.

Seeing the fear on Morgana’s face, Arthur gentled his tone. “I know it’s not easy for you and me, this whole feelings rubbish. But trust me, denying yourself this isn’t going to help anyone. I know you’re not a coward, Morgana, so you can face this. It’s…unpleasant, at first, but it’s worth it.”

Arthur was very pointedly not looking at Merlin, who was grinning brilliantly at the floor. Morgana took a deep breath. If someone as emotionally stunted as Arthur could do it, well, then so could she. She certainly wasn’t going to let it get around that Arthur was more courageous than her.

“Alright.” Morgana nodded decisively and stood up, immediately going to the door.. “Goodbye then. And… thank you,” she added. 

“So it’s worth it, huh?” She heard Merlin ask as she swept out of the room. 

By the time she returned to her chambers, it was well past mid morning. Morgana had taken Merlin’s advice and taken a detour to the wildflower field behind the castle before returning, and she now clutched a bouquet tightly in her fist. Gwen was airing out her sheets, but she put them aside when Morgana entered the room. She looked beautiful.

“My lady! I was worried about you, you weren’t here when I arrived. I mean, you don’t have to report to me where you’re going to be or anything but — mmph!”

Morgana strode across the room and kissed her. It had not been her plan, but Gwen was wearing her yellow dress today and her hair was down and she was unable to help herself. 

After a glorious moment, she drew back. Gwen was looking up at her (and had she always been that much shorter than Morgana?), wide-eyed and red-cheeked. 

“Morgana?” she whispered. 

Morgana swallowed. She could do this. 

“There’s something I need to tell you,” she said. “I’ve figured out what’s been wrong with me the past few weeks.”

“Oh?”

“I’ve never felt anything like it before, so forgive me for taking so long to catch on, but the truth is — the truth is that I’m in love with you, Gwen.” She took a shaky breath and barreled on. “I love your smile and your kindness, and how you make me feel more like myself than anyone. I’m in love with everything about you, Gwen.”

Gwen’s eyes were sparkling and she had covered her hand with her mouth. Morgana’s heart was loud in her ears and her hands were shaking. She felt like she was on the edge of a precipice.

Gwen lowered her hand and said, “Oh Morgana, I love you too.”

The world cracked open and it was like Morgana could feel again after years of being numb. She was walking on air, she was flying, she felt like she could conquer the world. She was smiling so hard her face hurt. 

“Here,” she said, remembering the flowers and thrusting them forward. “These are for you.” 

Gwen took the bouquet reverently and buried her nose in the petals. She peeked up at Morgana, who felt her heart flip over in her chest. Somehow, this adorable woman was in love with her. She truly didn’t know how she was so lucky.

Her heart skipped another beat as Gwen pulled out one of the peonies from the bouquet and reached up to tuck it behind Morgana’s ear, her hand lingering near Morgana’s cheek. Unable to stand the distance between them anymore, Morgana surged forward and kissed her again. This time, Gwen was prepared for it, and she threw her arms around Morgana’s neck. The bouquet of flowers was crushed between their bodies.

“You—love—me,” Morgana said between fervent kisses. Her hands were tangled in Gwen’s hair.

Gwen paused in her attentions to Morgana’s lips and gasped out, “Since the moment I knew you.”

And well, Morgana could hardly let her get away with saying something like that.

She bent down to scoop Gwen into her arms bridal-style and carried her to the bed, depositing her gently on the mattress. Gwen gazed up at her, happiness shining out of every inch of her being. Morgana crawled to lay down next to her, and Gwen turned to face her. Their noses were only inches apart. Feeling brave, Morgana wrapped an arm around Gwen’s waist.

“I’m yours, you know,” Morgana whispered. “My heart belongs to no one but you.”

It’s the kind of thing she never thought she would say, the kind of thing she would have scoffed at, but with Gwen, it didn’t feel so foolish. Gwen didn’t seem to think so either – she smiled, radiant.

“You’re mine,” she said wonderingly. “You’re mine, and I’m yours.”

They were the most beautiful words Morgana had ever heard.


End file.
